Talking in the Library

Short Cuts: Ask Dave!

Q: Hi Dave.  I hope your semester is going well.  My question involves poetry – i.e., why do we have it?  I enrolled in a poetry class to fulfill a humanities requirement and it’s driving me bananas!  Any advice?

A: I’d like to open my response with a poem taken from Richard Brautigan, “Haiku Ambulance” from The Pill Versus the Springhill Mine Disaster:

    A piece of green pepper
             fell
    off the wooden salad bowl:
           so what?

    Brautigan’s point, if I may be so bold, was to illustrate that unless poetry evokes some kind of emotional response from the reader it’s pretty worthless.  At least, it doesn’t for you.  Or maybe the poem’s good and the problem is you.  I know, ouch, right?

The problem (and it’s not really a problem, but anywho) with most humanities classes is that, if you’re majoring in, say, math, it doesn’t initially appear to have a great deal of “real world” applicability for you.  Of course, the same is true in reverse – a dance major doesn’t need physics.  But, with a few rare exceptions, we make you explore the Arts or the Sciences anyway.  It’s to broaden your horizons and send you out into the world a more well-rounded individual.  So the math major learns to view dense poetry like she would a difficult proof and the poet draws inspiration from the biological function of cells.

For your more specific problem – finding personal buy-in for a course that holds little interest (in this case poetry) – I’d say you need to create a personal connection on your own.  I would say that, but it’s kind of a cop out.  The truth is you’re probably going to just have to slog through it, but just maybe you’ll find meaning in it.  Give Keats a shot – he’s pretty accessible.  And if that fails, Dr. Seuss is technically a poet.

Ask Dave!: A Short Cuts Column

Question:  Hi Dave!  I hope you enjoyed your holiday and are having a good New Year so far.  I was wondering … what’s your New Year’s Resolution?

Answer: Well, thanks for the well-wishing!  The holidays weren’t bad – I saw some people I care for dearly and I’m so happy that they’ve now gone home.  Don’t get me wrong – there’s nothing more wonderful than having a big, loving family (in another city).  Four days into 2008 and I’m still not wealthy beyond imagining (you’ll know if it ever happens because, heh, you’ll never hear from me again) but otherwise, so far, so good.  As to resolutions, I’m afraid I’ve never really seen the point.  As far as I can tell, resolutions are intended to make one feel better about oneself until one ultimately fails to meet them, which makes one feel worse … so as a self-help device, they’re kind of crap.  If you’re having difficulty feeling good about yourself, I’d recommend taking a look at Self-help: 1400 Best Books on Personal Growth by Bill and Linda Katz.  Not only is it an annotated bibliography pointing you toward numerous healing resources, it’s also written by Dr. Katz, which reminds me of the wobbly animated show from the early 90’s involving a quirky celebrity therapist of the same name.  Or, you could do what I do and make really easily met resolutions.  This year I’ve resolved to stop soaking my contact lenses in acid.  So far, so good.

Ask Dave!: A Short Cuts Column

Question:  Hi Dave!  With finals coming up, I’ve been studying late and typically my roommate finds me in the common room having passed out and drooled all over my French book (Je suis malade et fatigué du Français!).  Is there anything you could recommend to give me some extra pep?

Answer: Well, sleepyhead, there are a number of things you could try.  I can’t in good conscience recommend crystal meth, though it will keep you awake (and really, who wants to take a drug combining red-necks and chemistry anyway), so that mostly leaves us with caffeine. You could slam back a Red Bull, sans the Jägermeister of course.  The standard size packs a reasonably charging 80mg of caffeine, plus the assorted ginseng, taurine, etc., though you should be advised that these don’t actually do anything, unless you’re a cat.  (Also, bile is gross!).  You could also shoot back some Ammo, one ounce of which contains 171mg of caffeine, although the aforementioned crystal meth might be better for your health.  Or, if you happen to be studying in Hale Library December 9th, 10th, or 11th, you can experience our Caffeine Fix and just leave it in our hands.  From 10pm-12am at the Reception Desk you’ll find tea, cocoa, apple cider, and a variety of snacky-treats to give back some of what finals takes out of you.  The Bookend Café will also have coffee specials, if you don’t mind dropping a buck or two for a little extra juice.  Or, you could get started early, pace yourself, eat right, exercise, get plenty of sleep, and therefore be less mentally and physically drained by the time finals roll around.  But then you’d be lame, and possibly a loser, and I know that’s not the case here.

Ask Dave!: A Short Cuts Column

Question:  Hi Dave!  I’m a bit puzzled, as I’ve been unable to find a volume in the stacks.  The call number is RC 200.2 .M27 1998; I’ve never had this kind of difficulty before!  Can you help?

Answer:  Fret not, Bit Puzzled, as I have the solution!  You see, while you very industriously found the proper call number, spied that the item’s status was “Not Checked Out,” and no doubt poured over our elaborate Stacks Guide trying to find its locale, and navigated the maze-like arrangement of our great library, only to find your title missing from the shelf, without even a lacuna to indicate where it once was, after you’ve worked so hard, on and on, just like this sentence.  But, aha!  Is there some crucial piece of info regarding your book’s placement that you may have overlooked?  Allow me – located in the OPAC entry (“OPAC” stands for “Online Public Access Catalog”) you’ll note yet another indicator; Location.  For most books in K-State Libraries, this location will read “Hale Library Stacks,” which includes any books on the main floors of Hale or in the Stack Levels (basically, anything on the Stacks Guide).  But what about things like Juvenile Literature or the Media Collection?  Those are in their own locations, and looking in the Stacks for them will only make you sad.  Your own example of RC 200.2 .M27 1988, Sexually Transmitted Diseases: A Physician Tells You What You Need to Know by Lisa Marr (editor’s note: reader, insert your own joke here) is, in fact, housed in our Veterinary Medical Library, located in Trotter Hall.  Hope that clears things up, and I hope that rash clears up as well.

Ask Dave!: A Short Cuts Column

Question:  HEY DAVE!!!  I LOVE USING THE LIBRARY, BUT I CAN NEVER FIND A QUIET PLACE TO STUDY!!!  THE ROAR OF STUDENTS WORKING IN GROUPS PREVENTS ME FROM SILENTLY REFLECTING ON THE WORKS OF PROUST IN PEACE!!!  HELP!!!!!!!

Answer:  My dear Mr. Shouty-Pants.  I’m guessing you never got the memo about how writing in all caps implies angry yelling.  That Caps Lock key is only about ¼” away from the “A” key after all.

But scolding you won’t solve your problem, and solving problems is my business.  Think of me as the Winston Wolfe of Libraries.  Most of the time, the 2nd Floor of Hale is pretty hoppin’, and silence can be as elusive and fragile as, well, as silence. (I’m better with problem solving than I am with similies, and let’s see you do better anyway.)  The various study carrels can be better, and out-of-the-way spaces like those on the 4th Floor, rear stairwells, and hidden grottoes of the Stacks see a touch less traffic.

The Great Room on the 3rd Floor (you know you’ve found it if it feels like the main hall of Hogwarts) is designated as an area for quiet study.  We don’t actively patrol it, but if you hear a cell phone conversation or some fierce debate at another table, you’re well within your rights to shush your fellow student.  And, if somebody gives you a hard time and you absolutely can’t focus, call in the big guns, by which I mean not actual guns but a library staff person. We also have a roaming security guard overnight who is happy to help keep the quiet.

Used to using Hogwarts Hall for Gryffindor meetings but are now worried you’ll disturb others?  Enclosed group study space can be found on the 1st Floor in Room 123, (called the Kruh Room, which is pronounced like “crew,” but isn’t misspelled since it’s someone’s name) which is typically available.  A schedule outside the door will tell you when meetings will be taking place; otherwise it’s first come, first served.  Kruh Room occupied by someone else’s crew?  Ask at the Library Help Desk (2nd Floor) and you can reserve Room 401 on the 4th Floor (we call that one the Tower Room, although it has no political prisoners, ravens, or even an oubliette, which is a bit disappointing). You can also reserve in advance by contacting Administrative Services at (785) 532-7400.

Ask Dave!: A Short Cuts Column

Question: Dave, I'm really concerned about global warming and reducing my carbon footprint, but my Dad says global warming's just a hippie conspiracy theory designed by people who invested in the electric car. Can you tell me what to think?

Answer: Well, telling you what to think isn't exactly what we do here. That sort of business is better left to your psychiatrist, or, if you share the views of Tom Cruise and John Travolta, to L. Ron Hubbard. No, we're more in the business of pointing folks in the direction of resources, guiding them toward factual information, and allowing them to come to their own conclusions. The key point here is "credible resources". For example, if you want to learn more about global warming, we would not direct you the Flying Spaghetti Monster's website, which claims that the gradual increase in the Earth's temperature is directly linked to the decline in the pirate population (really, check it out!). We're more likely to direct you to more scientific evidence, i.e., evidence gathered by qualified climatologists not on the payroll of Big Oil. Helpful? Great.

Ask Dave!: A Short Cuts Column

Question: Dave, I’m a new student.  Help!

Answer: Easy!  Easy.  Man, new students are shakier than a bobblehead in a helicopter.  I can’t bear to see good people succumb to panic at college (just like I can’t bear to hear good people listen to Panic! at the Disco).  But, I can help.  Well, not me personally, necessarily, but the folks at K-State Libraries can.  Stop at any desk, seriously, any desk in any library, seriously, any library, and we will answer your questions about anything.  Anything!  Okay, so, there may be some stuff we don’t know, but we know who does, and we’ll point you in the right direction.  You’re not bothering us.  You’re not interrupting us.  We love to answer your questions here, and without you we can only ask questions of each other (kind of like Trivial Pursuit, which all of us rock at).  And not just scholarly stuff!  Have a question about things to do in Manhattan?  The food court?  The plot of David Lynch movies?  Nothing falls outside the scope of our duty to bring information to you.  And if you’ve got serious questions about the Libraries, why not take one of our classes?  Taught by our friendly and attractive Instruction Team (who write this newsletter, by the by), our classes take but 50 minutes and don’t cost you a dime.  A calendar of class times is available on our website (http://www.lib.ksu.edu – click on “Classes and Tours"), or you can just ask at one of the aforementioned desks (any of them).

Ask Dave!: A Short Cuts Column

Question:  Dave!  I need to come up with a short story for my class and I’m suffering terribly from writers block!  Please help!

Answer:  Ah.  Dave, too, has suffered from writers block.  Apparently, Dave also suffers from speaking about himself in third person.

Cage and Jables (a.k.a. Kyle Gass and Jack Black) of Tenacious D have discussed at length this “Search for Inspirado,” likening inspiration to a lost city made not of gold, but Ideas.  Truth.  Art. They describe a number of methods for discovering Inspirado, none of which work.  You might try browsing some of the works of those great authors who came before.  Take Shakespeare, for example.  Just pick one of his plots and throw it into a different setting (this has worked for Stephen Sondheim, John Wayne, Amanda Bynes, etc.) and there you go.  Another tactic I’m fond of is Wikipedia’s random article feature.  Although Wikipedia isn’t necessarily “cite-worthy” as far as scholarly work goes (although the featured articles aren’t bad for this), it can give you a basic context for an otherwise unfamiliar subject.  The best of these serendipitous finds I chanced upon was an article on The Principality of Sealand, a refitted oil rig far enough off the coast of England to claim to be its own country.  Armed coups have even occurred.  Check it out; you’ll learn something weird, and perhaps find Inspirado.

Ask Dave!: A Short Cuts Column

Question:  Hey Dave!  A buddy of mine was saying how Johnny Cash wasn’t really country, he was rock (incidentally, my buddy hates country, but loves the Man in Black).  To me, this is nonsense, but what do you think?

Answer:  Well, Johnny was certainly a genre busting cowboy, but he was a cowboy nonetheless.  On the other hand, one could maybe say that Johnny was rock as well as country.  But discounting him as country altogether is just an exercise actively struggling to support an unjustified bias.  Your buddy should amend his statement from “all country is offensive, soulless trash” to “most country is offensive, soulless trash, but some is in fact very excellent and beautiful.”  Coincidently, Johnny’s “Folsom Prison Blues” appeared as number 77 on the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame 200 Definitive Albums (http://www.rockhall.com/pressroom/definitive-200/).  While I agree, and good on ya Man in Black, the fact that this list also contains Barbara Streisand and Kenny G means that anything that is music could be classed as Rock if their standards are followed.

*Editor’s Note: Or Mr. Cash was an Osmond – a little bit country, a little bit rock-and-roll.

Ask Dave!: A Short Cuts Column

Question:  Dave!  Last night I was watching The Punisher, starring  Thomas Jane and John Travolta, and the character Spacker Dave with all the piercings made me think of you.  Get it?  You’re a Dave?  He’s a Dave?  So, are all guys named Dave into piercings or what?

Answer: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it.  We’re both named Dave.  I myself don’t have a face full of ferrous metal I can hang magnets from, but I will say that I understand the compulsion.  I think I’ve kept away from piercings on my own body for fear of running into a situation similar to Spacker Dave’s, which is to say, having some evil mob boss rip them out while trying to get me to rat on my friends.  Gives me the willies like you wouldn’t believe. 

But speaking of The Punisher (a decent movie based on a much better comic book) we’ve got a fantastic collection of graphic novels here at K-State  Libraries.  The Garth Ennis run of  Punisher (upon which the movie was based) isn’t there, but ol’ Garth’s  masterpiece Preacher is.  We also have every Sin City (yeah, like the movie) comic Frank Miller ever wrote, and a big chunk of his Batman stuff as well.  Like Hellboy?  We’ve got more Hellboy than you can shake a giant stone fist at.  Most of them are around the PN6700’s up on Stack Level E.  So check ‘em out.  They’re awesome, and scream to be read.  Much like my mother would scream if I got facial piercings.